Consuming...

Class was good today. Professor Hamm is awesome and I think my classmates actually like me.

But...I'm really not thinking about that right now. See, I got another call today...

Gall blatter infection, possible heart valve problem that may require major surgery, and dyalsis graft has to be removed. All this means that they're going to have to move her to a downtown Portland hospital.

I am...so..so...SO very scared right now. I don't...I have no real way of knowing if she's going to pull out of this. As it stands, heart surgery is a major ordeal, and there's the possiblility she might not be strong enough to recover from it.

I'm tired of being alone...I'm tired of worrying...I feel...so forsaken right now...

I'm questioning everything. Everything. Why has She not heard my prayers? All I ask is that Mom be alright...what is the sense in taking her from me now? What is the purpose...

I don't know what to do...

Fwee~ Photograms <3

So I had my first ever darkroom experince before, and, though I was late and rather confused at first, I got the hang of it after a while quite well. x) I'm so proud. I made Photograms, yo. *dances*

So I brought them home and scanned them in to Photoshop and used the program for...well what its supposed to be used for. I switched the negatives to contacts, so I could figure out which one I wanted to chose to use for my final contact for this part of the lesson, which is in two weeks.

Buuut I can't really decide. So if everyone who reads my LJ could just dash right on over to my lovely gallery (http://img34.photobucket.com/albums/v103/Chiroay/Photo%20I/) and vote on the one that looks the best. "Negative(#)" is the original, negative exposure. "Contact(#)" is the edited, positive contact and how it would look once I actually did it in the lab. So vote for your favorite number, and any creative input is much appricated.

Thanks all. Many loves and hugs.
Another update later. <3