JeniOctavia

Mmng. x_x

I'm back home. Unfortunately traveling has aggravated a problem I gained after getting sick at the beginning of my term, mainly excess of fluid in my right ear. It kept coming and going and wasn't -terrible- at least until the massive migraines started. But my neck issues tend to cause headaches, too, so I was hoping at the end of the term they'd start to fade.

They didn't. And traveling to Portland and back has aggravated the amount of fluid and discomfort.

I'm going to call the clinic on Monday to see about getting an appointment before school starts again. This is getting seriously annoying.

In other news.

Uh.

I got more manga. Legend of Zelda mangas were FIANLLY translated and released some time last year. Another GTO (6), another Bizenghast (5) also BAWWW VINCENT BAWW DINAH DAMN YOU MARTY Dx aaaand Off*Beat (1). Woot.

I'm going to finish watching Dr. Who with Kate now.

I'm supposed to be drawing a chair for a make up assignment for ART 131, but honestly I'm just sitting here (in the chair I was going to draw) feeling rather... blank.

Mom just told me that Moria, a wonderful, amazing woman from our bead group who I talked to almost every time she was there about anime and music and everything else... is in the hospital and not doing well. She's been fighting cancer for a long time now, and even relapsed shortly after I met her, but she returned during the summer looking and feeling much better. We even talked about the possibility of her and her family coming to Kumoricon next year because she really wanted to see and experience all the things I told her about.

I haven't been to bead group in months because of school. My schedule had me in class on Tuesdays during the time. As such I haven't seen Moria since September.

According to mom and the email she received, there's a chance she might not come back from it this time. I can't visit until Friday if I can even work up the courage to do so (I hate, hate, HATE hospitals and I feel sick even thinking about being in one), since I have school and all.

If I wasn't so behind I'd skip today just... because. But I'm gonna go and hopefully won't feel like I'm gonna cry at any second.

So this is what happened.

I was attempting to reinstall some stuff I needed for school, namely Raptor SmallBASIC and, because the system restore returned it to the crappy 30 day trial, Microsoft Office. As I was doing these things, I suddenly got a message. 'Your system is low on space. Please remove some files in order to install this product.'

My response was a bit 'wtf' because I have a MASSIVE hard drive in this thing. I went in to 'ohgod there'e something NEW wrong' mode, but quickly went in and ditched the HP Game Suite that came with the restore as well as some other programs I wasn't using. Checked my hard drive. I only had 6GB left of space. Continued wtf-ing because that just didn't make sense. If I'd removed everything, wouldn't my used space be tiny? especially if I'd only grabbed some 20GB of music so far?

Well I thought, mainly because I was tired, it was an issue of compression and maybe left over files. I was getting irritated at it so I set it to clean up the left over crap, which barely did anything, then set it to defrag and went to bed.

I woke up at around 6ish to go to the bathroom and checked on it. "You need at least 15% hard drive space to perform this option. There is only 2% available. Please remove files before de-fragmenting."

Again. What the -fuck-.

But then it dawns on me in some sort of weird half awake state. If I downloaded 20GB of music and added it to the massive amount that I had before, plus all the videos, pictures, and everything else, PLUS whatever was put back on the computer and everything that I've installed SINCE then...

that would make roughly 200GB of space, wouldn't it? Which would mean...

My stuff exists SOMEWHERE on this hard drive. It was only the folder that was removed from the desktop! I mean, long shot, but I give it a try and search for "We Are One" which was a song from Kelly Sweet and an album I hadn't re-downloaded yet. If I was right, it would still be somewhere on the hard drive, right?

Lo and behold, it was there, and when I went up I found the folder sitting in another section of the computer, nothing gone, nothing missing. I'm convinced it was a damn miracle or something!

But in all seriousness this is probably one of the better things that's happened to me in a while. I've been so stressed and trying so hard to just keep it to myself because I know other people are dealing with their own shit. It's not making me the most personable person right now, though. I've been pretty verbally quiet, not exactly in the mood for conversation, and I've definitely snapped at people who really didn't deserve it.


( Time for Ramblings )

Term ended for me today. Hooray. *falls over*

But now, you get a story. A story of why I am SO DAMN GLAD I didn't have to physically attend my Web 2.0 class.

There was this guy. I can't remember his name. Frankly I don't want to. Huzzah, this sounds lovely already, doesn't it?

Anywhoo. He talks a lot. I figured this out just from sharing a class room with him for a couple of days out of the term. He admits that he talks to hear himself talk. Great. Fine. Dandy. He's kinda funny at first so I just roll with it. He's also pretty buddy buddy with the teacher, which seems a little odd in the sense that he actually FOLLOWED Kale out of the class room talking, and came back STILL TALKING and Kale was about as attentive as a rock.

Anyway, not my point.

Well, one more deviation. Same guy is talking, and I joke to him "Do you hear yourself when you talk?" and he comes back with "No, I just fade in and out."

That did get a chuckle out of me.

BUT I DIGRESS (cause it actually comes in to play later).

So later on we're filling out our student eval forms and there's some random conversation about stupid criminal stunts. The guy isn't saying anything on stupid criminal stunts, but he's certainly commenting at length about his thoughts on them. At one point Kale says something in response to what the guy was saying (I hadn't been paying attention until this point). It's basically "You know they have the Darwin Awards for that kind of thing." He looks a little... worried when he says this.

The guy starts going off.

"This is why I think certain people shouldn't breed. We should bring back eugenics."

And he doesn't stop there. OH NO. He keeps going, saying that mentally retarded people don't bring anything of value to society, and that he sits down at the bus station (Eugene Station, the central depot of the town) and sees parents he thinks are 'bad' because they 'obviously don't make good choices, don't look like they have any education or income'.

So I turn around and say "I sit at the same bus stop you do. I don't judge people."

"I do." he shoots back. And makes some comment about being entitled to his opinion and KEEPS GOING. Another lady who I've had a few very nice conversations with tries to gently disuade him by saying that there is natural selection, sometimes weak genes DO die off, but he keeps RIGHT ON GOING.

I ask him, "Is this one of those moments where you're fading in and out?"

"No."

Keeps on going.

Eventually a slightly older student who may or may not have been staff (there were a few enrolled in the class) says "Are you an atheist?" to him. While he's doing this, he's picking up his stuff. He's had enough, too.

The guy defiantly says "Yes. Do you believe in God?"

He keeps harassing him about it, too.

At this point the guy is making me physically ILL just being around him. I'm in Dive-Chat at the time and am forced to say to everyone "I've gotta go. I need to leave." and I sign out and quickly put my stuff away as well. At this point I've tuned him out agian, but I'm certain he's still going. I can hear the woman talking, I can hear Kale trying to make a point. I think the other guy has left. I don't know. I'm actually dizzy with upset. He just doesn't get it.

So I start to leave, but stop and turn to him and manage to stumble out "My mother was disabled. And we were poor. She didn't get a higher education until she was in her fourties, my dad was the same way. And look where I am. So I don't think you've got a valid point. At all."

I wanted so badly to say more, but I was almost in tears I was so furious with him. I hate, hate HATE verbal confrontation. I cannot get my words out. I stutter. I forget what I want to say.

But I forced myself to tell him, just so he would know how offensive and disgusting he was being.

You know what he says to me?

"I'm still entiled to my opinion."

And I respond with, "And you're still a jerk." and walk out. I called mom, found out she was downtown, and went and caught a bus to there. I had plans to stick around the school until she could actually come get me later, but I didn't even want to be potentially breathing the same AIR as this guy.

Mom cheered me up by saying that if it did come down to selecting who would live and who would die based on their merit, he sure as hell wouldn't be on there.

Still. People like that just make me want to hurk in their faces. They've no right to judge people they don't even know. Make a rude comment or two if you don't like how a parent look, but gods be damned, look at YOURSELF first if you think you're fit to pass judgement on anyone.

Ugh. I hope some one punches him some day.
 

Yehknow, one of these days, I'll actually REMEMBER that I live in Oregon. And have for all 25 years of my life. And in that remembering, recall that you can never trust Oregon weather. If it looks like its gonna rain, bring sunblock, because inevitably I'll be sitting on an exposed bridge over a river with no tree cover for an hour and a half with my back to the sun's position in the sky.

Ow.

FML.

Well Field Drawing was really just the introduction to the class, so it got out way early. Chillin' in the library now until Web 2.0, though I do need to get my bus pass before 4.

Drama is going to prove to be interesting. The teacher rambles a bit, but she's nice and definitely tries to make the class a little less boring. It would be nice if it wasn't so damn early in the morning, but it's only two days a week.

Field Drawing might be a little difficult only in the sense that we have to meet up at various places that aren't the school, but I'm willing to do what I can, even if that means carpooling with people I really don't know all that well. I might have to make arrangements of some kind with my 2.0 to let them know Field Drawing might make me late from time to time.

Figured I'd toss up and update to say things are going well. Not sure what the state of the 2.0 class is going to be, but we'll see.

Ohyeah. I CAN HAS TACO TONIGHT?! Yus I can. Because she is coming and will be here around 9. Then tomorrow after Field Drawing, Kate will be joining us and we're going to go see Transformers. FUCKYEAH.

Alright. I'm done now.

I am finally, FINALLY tested in. WRI 121 and *snort* MTH 10. Way to fail, Jeni.

But its done! And come five tonight I'm grabbing whatever class space is left and getting my books and ID tomorrow.

Woo school!