Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Its been two months since you left. Well. Two months in a day, but hey, we were never technical people were we?
I still feel you around sometimes. Its an odd feeling, those random chills down my spine even when the house is hotter then hell. Are you giving me hugs? I told you I missed your hugs when you were at Merdian...do you remember that? I do. I was glad when you laughed at it. Always that cute sense of humor, even in the worst of times. Do you still listen to me sing? I do it even louder now, just incase you can't hear me. I think I'm starting to annoy my neighbors.
I'm sorry the house is so trashed all the time now. I'm not as diligent about keeping things clean you know, that was always a bad habit with me. I'll try to be better in the future about it.
I'm still going to school, which I'm sure you're proud of. My education is really important to me now. I wish you could be there when I graduate, but I know you'll be watching anyway.
You know I miss you, right? You probably miss me too...
The car just sits out there...but every time I look at it I think of all the trips we took, getting constantly lost in Portland and all those places. That was fun, wasn't it?
You know I have alot of things I want to say...but as it always seems to go, whenever I get the chance to say them I can't think of what I wanted to come out of my mouth. I may have the writer's touch, but I suppose I'm still only human.
I suppose...I'm wishing I could ask for advice. You were the one I went to when things got bad...I could always confide in you. Even though I still feel you here, it doesn't help when I just want to hear your voice telling me everything's going to be okay. We always had such indepth conversations...I loved them, and I would give anything to have just one last one. To sit there and BS with you for hours on end...
You accepted me no matter what happened, what choices I made. And there are many I regret, espeically the ones that hurt you. I would take them all back in a second, I really would...
I guess...I'm having a hard time trying to come to terms with never actually seeing you again. I could live a long time, and I really had hoped you'd be around along longer then this. But...I can't control things like that, so I know eventually I'll have to accept it, even though I don't want to. I still don't think its fair. That's one thing that's never going to change.
My friends are right though. Atleast you're not hurting anymore. It killed me to see you like that...
I can't think of anything more to say. Sure there are a million things there but...yeah I said that already.
You know I love you, Mom. And I miss you more then you'll ever know.

Love always and forever,
in life and in death,
your daughter,
~Jeni

Chaa~ x)

So like, apparently school started yesterday and I missed my first class. GO ME! xD Ohwell, its on again at Wednesday so I'll just come up with some lame ass excuse like "I was out of town." *shrug*
But I have two classes today, so Tusedays and Thursdays are my long classes...well they are if I get off the waitlist for Math 20. I'm pretty sure I will, though, just a matter of talking to the teacher.
I'm not too thrilled about it, but it has to be done. I'm just crossing my fingers at this point that I can write a decent appeal for my FA.
Professor Foster is offically the second most kick ass teacher I've had, and its all because she studied under Professor Hamm. xD One of the students in her class was in her 121 class a few terms back, and apparently she throws things at people who talk too much. xD BUT. She wants us to argue and shit, that's basically what the whole class is. It may be academic writing but I think I'm gonna like it.
She is even letting me borrow a book until I can get the funds to get my own.

DUDE. CASEY. If you read this tonight you're gonna get a kick out of this one. There's a guy in my class who's military. Marines and Army BOTH. I'm gonna bug him to wear one of his uniforms to class one day. *cackles*

Well that's about it. Just wanted to give my 'I'm at school waiting and bored out of my effing goard' update.

Fwee~

*Edit* Something else for you Casey. xD I saw this and nearly fell out of my chair laughing.
http://ashtonpress.net/cartoons/sgfreezerburn.jpg