It's the most wonderful time of the year...

[jenioctavia]

Or not.

Seems this year has done spectacularly to crank out the stress for everyone. I can safely say I don't think I've been this on edge for such an extended period of time before in my life. Sort of my fault for stupidly picking up two studio classes at once, though.

And I know I'm not the only one feeling this.

I always get depressed during the holidays. It's a difficult time for me, remembering people that are gone now. It's still physically painful to know that I can't enjoy unwrapping presents and putting up all those old decorations with her, and our last Christmas together, small as it was, is still in my mind.

I think that was the last time I smile and mean it. And that's a really terrible thing to realize...

I would be lying if I said I'm not struggling right now. But a part of me wants to think I'm struggling less because I have my extended family.

I know everything isn't wonderful shiny right now between everyone, and I know it may never be again between some people, but I still love my family no matter what's going on.

In a little over a month I'll be turning 26. It'll be a new year, full of new chances, so right now I can only hope that the passing of time will begin to heal wounds both new and old.

I love you guys.

Comments

[alanddizzy.livejournal.com]

Police Navy Dance.

Thank you for your perspective last night, as you have been so often you are helpful, and a deeply cherished friend who I hope dearly I can return the favor for someday.