(no subject)

[jenioctavia]

I'm not sure what to think anymore.

I had a real bad laspe in judgement yesterday, I'm not sure why really, but I did. My mind was everywhere except where it needed to be and in the end result was both Mike and Dad getting pissed off at me. Which I understand. I'm not going to defend my stupidity when I know damn good and well that its my fault.

But none of that prepared me for this morning...

Tiffani called and told me that the JobCorps campus in Idaho is probably the best and fastest choice for me. It has more non-labor oriented trades which I would be better suited for. And since they fly/bus a resident back home for the holidays, I saw no problem with this.

Dad, however, did.

Deciding to tell me that I was manipulative because I often make it seem like I'm doing what needs to be done when I'm not actually doing it, he informed me that I should not go to Idaho even if that's the one that's the best choice for me. He said that they didn't know me there like my 'family' did, and that they need to be able to keep tabs on me, so I should stay in Oregon where they are.

Alright, I admit, my choices aren't always the best, and I do tend to fuck things up alot more then normal people, but that is still no reason to deny me access to something that's going to be GOOD for me. I want out. I NEED out. I need to get away from Oregon for a while, even if it is only a year, to reevaluate myself and hopefully get away from some of the demons that have been plauging me for years, but he doesn't see that.

All he sees are my mistakes and the million and one reason, to him, that I need to have some one watching me like a hawk 24/7.

I don't know what to do...I don't know how to make him see that I need this without him turning everything in to 'my daughter is a failure and an immature adult who can't possibly know what's good for her.'

Comments

A suggestion...

[karebear-karyn.livejournal.com]

The best thing I can reccommend for you at this moment would be that in the time you have left before going into job corp, show your dad that you can be a responsible adult. Take the responsibility for your actions, actively search for a job, and even if you do get upset with him from time to time, understand that he's doing it for your own good and he's trying to help you become a better person.

I'm not intending to sound preachy, it's just advice. Prove to him that you're responsible and that you can go to Idaho without supervision.

Hugs chica. I know you're strong enough to handle this.

[calisasilvertai.livejournal.com]

Um, even if you went to Job Corps in Oregon, they wouldn't be with you to keep tabs on you, once you leave, right? Hmm. I guess I'm just confuzzled. What Karyn said sounds pretty good, though.

Need sleep.