*&)^&^$^%@#$(

[jenioctavia]

I completely lost it last night. Dad and I just wouldn't stop going at it, but I managed to keep my emotions under enough control to not cry in front of him. I waited until later, when I was alone in my room. For the first time in months...I cried myself to sleep.

And its not just him that's causing this. Its everything. I can't help but look at where I'm at right now and just feel this horrible cold, crawling reality of what I've managed to do to myself. I am happy that he took me in, and I'm insanely grateful for what I still do have right now. The few privilages I'm granted keep me sane, but I really don't know how long that's gonna last...

I need to find peace somehow, before my breakdowns become perminate.

~Fear of the dark tears me apart
won't leave me alone and time keeps running out

Just one more life, I'm so sick and tired
of singing the blues, I should turn my life around

[Chorus:]
Tell me why do I feel this way
all my life I`ve been standing on the borderline
too many bridges burned
too many lies I've heard
I had life but I can't go back
I can't do that, it will never be the same again
and I know I don't
have any time to burn

they follow me home, disturbing my sleep
but I'll find a place, place where they cannot find me
maybe I'm lost, and maybe I'm scared
but too many times I've closed the doors behind me

[Chorus]

leave it all behind
cross the borderline
face the truth, don't have any time to...
don't have any time to burn

[Chorus]~

Comments

[calisasilvertai.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* You're doing what you can to get out of the tough spot you're in. That's all any of us can do, Sweetie. You'll make it, somehow. You just have to believe that you can.

And if it helps, I believe you can.