(no subject)
Apr. 14th, 2004 12:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jenioctaviaI'm not quite sure which is worse at this point:
Having Mike bitch at me to the point where I'm in tears about everything that I've done wrong this week, or...
Knowing that he's 100% right.
I won't go in to the conversation. I'd rather not start crying agian. Lets just say that I'm getting a little tired of this thing I call a 'relationship' with my brother. I love him, I really do, and he's probably one of the few male figures in my life that I can truly look up to. But goddamn it if he was just IOTA more sensitive then maybe, just MAYBE he'd have a clue as to what I'm going through. He wasn't there the first time, he wasn't there when she got sick this time. He had his own life and he still does. I've lost so much of my life because I've wanted to stay with Mom and try to help her. He only comes in when he's called. And yea I can understand his irked behavior towards the favors I've called in later, but give me a break. I don't need to have it rubbed in that I'm a fuck up! I know that I've made alot of mistakes and I'm TRYING to fix them.
Goddess...I'm just about ready to throw my hands in the air and tell him to just forget it. To leave me alone and let me deal with this myself. If I was certain that I could make it on my own right now, I would. I really would. But unfortunately he's the only other one with access to the bank account, and the only one I can turn to when I run out...
*sighs* I know I won't sleep tonight. I'm still riled as hell...and even if do sleep I know it won't be well...
Having Mike bitch at me to the point where I'm in tears about everything that I've done wrong this week, or...
Knowing that he's 100% right.
I won't go in to the conversation. I'd rather not start crying agian. Lets just say that I'm getting a little tired of this thing I call a 'relationship' with my brother. I love him, I really do, and he's probably one of the few male figures in my life that I can truly look up to. But goddamn it if he was just IOTA more sensitive then maybe, just MAYBE he'd have a clue as to what I'm going through. He wasn't there the first time, he wasn't there when she got sick this time. He had his own life and he still does. I've lost so much of my life because I've wanted to stay with Mom and try to help her. He only comes in when he's called. And yea I can understand his irked behavior towards the favors I've called in later, but give me a break. I don't need to have it rubbed in that I'm a fuck up! I know that I've made alot of mistakes and I'm TRYING to fix them.
Goddess...I'm just about ready to throw my hands in the air and tell him to just forget it. To leave me alone and let me deal with this myself. If I was certain that I could make it on my own right now, I would. I really would. But unfortunately he's the only other one with access to the bank account, and the only one I can turn to when I run out...
*sighs* I know I won't sleep tonight. I'm still riled as hell...and even if do sleep I know it won't be well...
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-14 11:26 am (UTC)Different people react in different ways. maybe his way is just to avoid the situation. unfortunatly, you can't do that. let him know how you feel, DONT LOSE YOUR TEMPER. just tell him you really need support. just breathe deep, think happy kung fu monkey thoughts, and let us, in our own dumbass way,try to cheer you up on yahoo tonight *huggles*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-14 01:19 pm (UTC)Even though I would much rather have you guys up here so I can get actual hugs,knowing that you're all my friends helps.^^; Love you guys. <3