(no subject)

I'm starting to doubt.

I always do, though. It just happens that way, doesn't it? I begin questioning where I should be.

But this time...

Why is it so easy to just not talk to me? To not tell me these things?

A phone call, just to tell me what happened but that he was alright...

But I got nothing.

And its always 'oh, we didn't think to mention that' or 'oh, I forgot'.

Always.

It makes me wonder how much more you've just...not told me.

It was never supposed to come to this, you know? And a part of me just wants to break down and apologize for everything I've ever fucked up, for the jobs and making life so difficult.

But another part of me is just screaming, screaming "why don't you respect me? After all we've discussed, why do you still refuse to respect me?"

Maybe I'm just asking for too much.

Maybe...