Still waiting for that break, that chance, that moment when I can fly...

I never really knew that something as simple as the changing of one's mind could be hurtful to me, but apparently it is. Chock another one up, ne?

I called Josh today to confirm my training time and he dropped the bomb on me. His higherups have decided that since he personally has had a problem with car-less reps in the past getting around, that he was no longer allowed to hire people who didn't have vehicles, AFTER I had already been given the job. Thus, once more, life has sufficiently bent me over and fucked me up the ass. No lube. Hard.

I'm in quite a state right now. I spent a half an hour bawling my eyes out. After everything I ranted about last night it was just another failure to the list, and this time it wasn't even my fault! Its only a failure because I've now nothing in regards to finachal security. It hurts that the more I try the more I get walked on, kicked to the curb, and socked in the gut.

Manny and I have agreed to give me two weeks to find something, anything, grunt work if I have to, shoveling shit if it comes down to that, in order to have an income. If nothing turns up then I have to let him know a week before October and...

well...

after that its my life in question, isn't it?