(no subject)

I've only got about a half an hour left here, the library is closed on Mondays (wierd...), and I've been mostly killing time with SG-1 fics. Well..killing time and killing depression, or trying to atleast.

I've tried so very hard to remain optimistic about the situation, telling myself that something will come up, I'll move, and everything will be right again. And for the most part I still believe that, but I'm still going to go completely wacko.

I miss Casey something awful right now, I'm not getting shit done at home because I really don't know -what- to do or where to start with all that crap, and Mike has offically begun ignoring my existence. He won't return Carol's calls, he won't return mine, and anytime I'm on MSN its like I don't exist. talking to Beth last night I realized that she's right, I can contiune to admire and look up to him all I want, but I need to do it from a distance now. He's become a stranger to me in all this, and despite both of our best intentions this just isn't the time to try family bonding. Mom's death has driven a wedge in between us, and that really hurts me to admit it...

So while all this is going on, I have no one except her to talk to, and nothing to do durring the lapses in between. Casey comes back in 8 days and I highly doubt I'll be moved by then. I have nothing back at that house worth returning to, but I really do have no where to go.

..and I just got told that I have to get off. Sigh...

Is this nightmare over yet?