'cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome...

He leaves for the night, and I find myself falling apart yet again.
I can't keep him here all the time, and goddess knows our relationship isn't romantic in the least...but what I wouldn't give for one night together until the dawn. Talking, laughing, singing, RPing, anything...

It isn't so much him that's the issue. Its not like I willed this codependancy on knowingly. But with Mom gone, I find him my constant, my one thing to cling to in this coldness that washes over me every time I'm reminded that things are never going to be the same.

Though the tears and the anguish and the screaming in horrible emotional greif, I could see him still standing there just as he'd always been, with open arms and a caring smile.

I hate the silence. I hate the times when I'm alone the most.
I hate my tears and I hate the fact that I keep saying "I'm okay."

Because I have no fucking clue if I really am. How can I know when I didn't ever have a normal state to compare this to?

Did I let this go too far...?


I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore