Mrr...

I thought it was a dream when it happened. Mom came back at about six...sevenish and woke me up. I was in such a stupor from going to bed so late that I thought that I had to be dreaming...
It wasn't though. When I finally woke up at noon and walked outside, she wasn't there...
*sighs* I should be used to this happening to her, all these trips to the hospital...but admitedly, time after time, no matter how it happens or when, or how long she's gone, I'm just...reminded. That day...August 3rd, 1999 comes back like a ghost and hovers behind me, whispering in my ear that its going to happen agian...
I don't want to listen, but my subconsious has already given in.
She said she'd be back tomorrow...
I really, really hope that's true, for both our sakes...
I've spent the whole day without her here...made myself lunch and dinner...kept the doors locked...but there's just something so eerie about this place when I'm the only one here...and my own thoughts that contribute to it.
*Sniffles* I suppose, though I'll never admit it to her, that I just really hate dealing with it all the time. In the past three years she's had more trips to the hospital then I care to remember...and each time its like a blow to the stomach...
Gods, I just wanna get plastered...