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Jan. 26th, 2004 02:56 pmI woke up this morning feeling sick yet again...
And I'm seriously starting to get tired of it.
But mostly, I'm worried...
I have had my 'little friend' in over a year. Actually, a year in Febuary. Yet without insurance or money from a job that I'm supposed to have, there's no way I can get this checked out.
Yes, I know I should have gotten it checked out sooner, but I figured it was no big deal. A hormonal imbalance, screwed up from the fact that I lost my BC pills when I moved back home and wasn't able to get more because Taco Bell had fired me. It was supposed to go away. My body was supposed to kick back in to gear and be normal again.
It hasn't happened yet, and I wake up more often then not queasy and shaken...
Am I scared? I was when it dawned on me how serious it could have been, but I forced myself to calm down and try to see it in a not so bad light.
I'm just not sure...
Bill hasn't called me yet, and I'm getting a little fustrated. Carol said last night that he was blowing me off, and I tried to stand up for him, saying he was the manager of the biggest department in Fry's and probably got really busy...or maybe Home Office hadn't contacted him. Now we're fifty some odd dollars over drawn and I still don't have my last check...
I'm thinking that fate is just fucking with me...well starting to think that..
My away message is on, I'm hiding in Imag near the upper wall. I don't want to talk to anyone...All my friends are on and I just feel like throwing up this huge fence between us and saying 'leave me the fuck alone'. I have no idea where this mood came from, or why, but I really don't care...
My room is freezing right now...and I'm just sitting here rambling on because I have no idea how to end this stupid post...
I think I know what Amy Lee meant when she wrote "I'm so tired of being here..."
And I'm seriously starting to get tired of it.
But mostly, I'm worried...
I have had my 'little friend' in over a year. Actually, a year in Febuary. Yet without insurance or money from a job that I'm supposed to have, there's no way I can get this checked out.
Yes, I know I should have gotten it checked out sooner, but I figured it was no big deal. A hormonal imbalance, screwed up from the fact that I lost my BC pills when I moved back home and wasn't able to get more because Taco Bell had fired me. It was supposed to go away. My body was supposed to kick back in to gear and be normal again.
It hasn't happened yet, and I wake up more often then not queasy and shaken...
Am I scared? I was when it dawned on me how serious it could have been, but I forced myself to calm down and try to see it in a not so bad light.
I'm just not sure...
Bill hasn't called me yet, and I'm getting a little fustrated. Carol said last night that he was blowing me off, and I tried to stand up for him, saying he was the manager of the biggest department in Fry's and probably got really busy...or maybe Home Office hadn't contacted him. Now we're fifty some odd dollars over drawn and I still don't have my last check...
I'm thinking that fate is just fucking with me...well starting to think that..
My away message is on, I'm hiding in Imag near the upper wall. I don't want to talk to anyone...All my friends are on and I just feel like throwing up this huge fence between us and saying 'leave me the fuck alone'. I have no idea where this mood came from, or why, but I really don't care...
My room is freezing right now...and I'm just sitting here rambling on because I have no idea how to end this stupid post...
I think I know what Amy Lee meant when she wrote "I'm so tired of being here..."
