people are fragile things, you should know by now

So its a little after ten on the second day here in Bandon, and I feel like now that I've actually been here a while I can think a bit more clearly. Jared's already gone to bed, as has the rest of the house (though Diane is watching a movie in her room), and I'm sitting here with a laptop, a can of orange soda (Who loves orange soda? Kel loves orange soda~), my iPod and some sea salt and vinegar potato chips. Its rainy and dreary, the wind won't stop howling, and a couple of times I've felt just a tiiiiiinsy bit put out by my family, but damn it, I'm having a great time. If anything, I don't hold it against them - its going to take a while for them to see that I'm not a little kid anymore.

I've had a lot of talks, mostly with Diane, Grandma and Tom about what's happened and what's going to be happening, not to mention just various things about the lives of people in the family, and its really opened my eyes to a lot of things. A few of the others have asked questions here and there about what I'm up to, but I've tried to not go in to detail about what's taken place. I really don't want to. I get kind of tired of telling the 'we got evicted' story over and over again. I really want this move to Eugene, though. I actually cried today, telling Grandma that what Diane had said, about her being the closest thing I have to a mom right now, because I added on "that's what I really need right now". And it is. More than anything I would have given to have Mom's advice, Mom's voice, Mom's help with all of this, with all those times I was just feeling so ungodly terrible about myself. Diane isn't my mother, but she loves me as a daughter and I love her the same way. I've been lost so long, even with people I love and care for around me, and getting my head on straight is the only way out of all this.

Tomorrow is, obviously, Christmas Eve, and I believe that we're doing most of the stuff tomorrow and just relaxing Christmas Day, which will probably be the point where I'll finally go to the beach and get some pictures. Its actually been kind of busy, so I haven't got a chance to have my usual reflective 'beach moment' that I get when I come down here. I plan to do that before I leave, though, along with the pictures.

All in all, I'm having a great time, ocationally snippy family and one TERRIBLE hide-a-bed aside.

Merry Christmas everyone! =D